O.J. ON THE ENQUIRER: I CAN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT ... BUT I WISH I COULD!
Just last month, The ENQUIRER were reporting on O.J.'s taped confession, where a bar girl hired by the mafia got Simpson high, and prompted him to confess. Now the paper reports on how, during an interview with low-rent Tampa-based redneck shock jock Bubba the Love Sponge, O.J. explained how The ENQUIRER photographers trailed him from Paris to Rome and back home again this summer. Because, you know, the thing we need to see most are more pictures of O.J.
Here's part of the featured transcript:
Bubba: "You can't take a s--- without them covering it."
O.J. also told Bubba that he will consider a $2 million cash offer to star in a porn movie "when my kids are out of school". Perhaps that'll inspire them to pursue a few PhD.s. Besides, there's already enough O.J. content gathering dust in the back room of the video store.