PETS & THEIR STARS!

Yes, they are pets. But are they stars? If you happen upon the British magazine "HELLO!", full of smiling faces of celebrities you've never heard of before, it would seem that most people on those shores aren't pining for their products either. The two-page spread featuring the comments of photographer Christopher Ameruoso makes the case that these "stars" are a mere notch above their animals in terms of fame.

Shannen Doherty: Brought her drooling bullmastiff Max Luca on the set of "Charmed". Will the pooch be as pampered when Shannen goes to film her interstitial segments in her new job deadpanning from a teleprompter as hostess of the Sci-Fi Channel's "Candid Camera"-inspired prank show "Scare Tactics"? Doesn't seem like they'd tolerate dog drool on that set.

Slash: Has a dog and about 30 reptiles "and believe it or not, he plays with them every day." Axl, meanwhile, is preoccupied playing with his dreadlocks.

Kristen Johnston: "She met me wearing a long black dress and said, 'Let's do something different.' Then she pulled off her dress and posed with her dogs in a stunning white Gucci bikini. Wow!" Wow, what? Wow that she didn't have a bulge in her bottoms?

Angie Everhart: Two cats, named Elvis and Ms. Kitty. "She's constantly rescuing animals." And even once rescued one from Shannen Doherty.
The other four featured stars: Pamela Anderson with her dog Star (ah, that'd explain the headline), Jason Wiles of "Third Watch" with a 9/11 rescue dog named Atlas, David Alan Grier with a couple of schnauzers ("funny just like him") and the enigmatic E.G. Daily with her beloved Rottweiler, Cassius.